Just then a really really big man came out of the “exotic dance” club. It was Big Dave the Bouncer slash Accountant for the club. And he said, “Hey! Destiny Flower are you okay? What’s going on out here?” because to him it looked like Odinkirk was not helping her but was holding her down and maybe going to do something terrable and Big Dave was a nice guy who didn’t like people who were jerks or scuzzy or treated his friends badly and he thought of Destiny as his friend even though he’d seen her “dance” a lot.
Well, Odinkirk spun around and had his crossbow pointed right at Big Dave and he was scared enough by that that he put up his hands, but only a little bit. And they might have just stood there like that for indefinitely, but of course destiny was also awake again and doing ok. So there wasn’t any awkwardness, because she just explained to Big Dave. She said, “Its ok.” And then she said, “this man just saved me Big Dave. There was a man who was some sort of vampire, but from outer space. And he almost turned me into a vampire! But this man saved me and I don’t even properly-like know his name!”
Big Dave didn’t seem to believe it so he said, “I don’t really believe that. Vampires aren’t real, especially ones from outer space.”
Well, Odinkirk didn’t like his tone very much, so he said “You’d better believe it bud.” And then he fired his crossbow at him!
Destiny screamed a long no but as it turns out he wasn’t actually aiming at him. The deadly arrow from the crossbow missed his head close enough that it woul have made his hair rustle if he had had any. But Big Dave didn’t have any hair because he was bald. And both his eyes were big scared eyes. He started to get mad then and say “What the flock” but Odinkirk very calmly just nodded his head in the direction behind him. And everyone looked and standing their was this vampire monster with a arrow in its skull!
The vampire monster was pretty freaky. It looked like the size of a man, but it was all leathery with tufts of hair like a giant bat crossed with a super ugly chihuahua. But really freaky. And it had giant black eyes like bat eyes but bigger because it was the size of a man. And it would have been a lot scarier except that it had an arrow in his head, but it was obvious that it was about to bite Big Dave and that the arrow (and by logical extension Odinkirk) had saved his life.
Well, everyone had a moment of being freaked out and seeing the vampire monster, and then all of a sudden he just crumbled to the ground and exploded into dust. Odinkirk said, “Well, another one bites the dust.”
And that worked to make them all laugh and break the tension and make all of the things okay.
And Big Dave says, “What the heck was that thing.”
And Destiny said, “Yeah.”
So Odinkirk said, “I don’t have time to explain. Its called a Minion, and its a Minion of the space vampire who bit you earlier and that’s what he would have turned you into too if I hadn’t stopped him. But look, there’s more!”. And he pointed and sure enough more Minions were now starting to come into the parking lot and there were alot of them.
Big Dave, who didn’t get scared by much, said “Oh ship!”.
And then Odinkirk said, “Oh ship is right! We gotta go! So everyone get in my truck!”
Well, Big Dave and Destiny didn’t need to be told twice. They both scrambled to get into the truck and they were lucky it had a big front because they all fit well. And Odinkirk got in the drivers seat and started the truck no problem. At this point the Minion had gotten up to the outside of the truck and were kind of grabbing at it and shrieking and howling. The people in the truck were getting freaked out, except for Odinkirk because he knew how awesome his truck was because he had made it himself. He just flipped a big red switch and flood lights on top of the truck came on and all the Minions shrieked horrible shrieks and some of them stepped back and covered there eyes which were also smoking.
Odinkirk said, “Those lights are the same wavelengths as our sun light which they hate so much because the planet that the vampire is from has a star that has different wavelengths so the sun really can hurt them.”
But then there were other who were just enragened by having the light on them and pounded the truck more. So he then pressed a button that looked like it was just an ordinary button that would Change the radio station. But instead spikes shot out of the truck! And all those Minions who were close to the truck screamed even more as they were all skewered like vampire shishkabobs.
Well, it seemed like it was time to go so he put the car into R for reverse and he pressed hard on the gas and the tires screeched a lot like the screaming Minions. Some of them flew off the spike and some of them exploded into dust and Odinkirk said “I guess that will teach them about traffic safety! Haha.”. And then he put the truck into D and pushed hard on the gas pedal again and they were off. And there was also some bumps as they drove over Minion bodies.
But they were on the road and driving. And one more minion was stuck on a spike on the front of the car. As he was driving really fast down the road he reached under his seat and pulled out a loaded crossbow and leaned out his window and while he was driving shot him! And he hit him right between the eyes and the Minion screeched one last time and then exploded into dust.
And as he continued driving down the road Odinkirk said, “There’s nothing like some vampire Minion killing to bring you closer together.”. And they were pretty close to each other in the front part of that truck, too.